"Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information."

Like this:

Rasputin Manning

Is the bastard love child of Archie, born in June 6th, 1986. He currently is a punter for the Jamestown Jimmies, in Jamestown, ND. Shunned by his family, he turned to meth and whippets as a teen because of his lack of QB skills.

It's already been deleted though :(