where there's smoke . . .

It's been less than two weeks and I'm going through Lost withdrawal . . . these two things made me laugh way more than they should have. Well . . . okay, I guess just the second one did, because the first one legitimately -- and rightfully -- made me laugh out loud.

this would be amazing . . . I love the Onion


Lea Thompson (Caroline In The City) costars with the ominous cloud (Lost) in its new ABC sitcom this fall.


"The whole concept began with us asking, 'So what happens to the monster after it kills somebody and disappears down that ancient temple vent? What kind of life might it have?'" Lorre said. "And what we realized is that audiences really relate to this character and would like to see it in everyday situations, shooting the breeze with buddies at a local watering hole or murdering its son's soccer coach and depositing his lifeless body in a tree."

This one . . . not so great as a Lost parody, but hey, it's Degrassi. What's not to love?




"Only 57? Really, hon . . . "

on gmail spamming my entire address book and then deleting my entire address book

Mary: Wait, so you lost your address book? Is it possible you just turned a wheel somewhere and everything will come back if Desmond can save the day?

Me: That just make Briton and me laugh out loud!

Mary: In that case, I'm sorry I deleted the part about asking if Briton's nose had started to bleed!

there's no place like home

I forgot how friggin unbelievable the season finale of Lost was . . . I am soooooooo pumped for Wednesday night!

lost themed scrabble

This entry is also brought to you by (not BUY - thank you to my spell-checker Becky for catching that typo on my last post) my procrastination.

The chat pane in its entirety, which provides just one of the many reasons why I love Melissa, reads:

Melissa L: this game is so lost themed
Melissa L: fated
Melissa L: dire
Melissa L: jin
Melissa L: pee
Melissa L: ok that's a reach but i'm sure they pee

the constant

Last night's Lost was the best of the season and it was all about Desmond, which makes it even better. But I think that because it was so good, I'm a little intimidated by the idea of coming up with a recap/summary/commentary/epic haiku about it, at least not before watching it again. So instead, I'm going to rip off my favorite music blog, The Late Greats, and do a "One Song Lost Recap."

Something Corporate - "Konstantine"

I pick this song not because it actually has the phrase "constant" (or "konstant', if you're going to be picky, although the live version of this song is called "Constantine") right in the title, and not because you could start listening to it in 1996 and probably just be finishing it by 2004 (I'm only half joking - it's my favorite song of all time, but at 9 1/2 minutes, it's friggin long), but because I think everyone has a Konstantine. I know I do. And I sure as hell hope that eight years from now that "Konstantine" is still my constant.

In other slightly related Lost / ripping things off The Late Greats news, check out ABC.com's Sawyer Nickname Generator. Mine is "Whitesnake". Let me know what yours are!

eggtown

What a crappy day today's been - finally just got around to watching last night's Lost on ABC.com. No haikus this time, just a list of random observations.

• First, I didn't realize until I just looked up the title of this episode that it was called "Eggtown" - I don't really get it. Okay, so Locke starts out the episode by making Ben some eggs and obviously there was the whole pregnancy theme going, but did I miss something? I think I'm extra confused because I was watching Full House earlier and DJ was talking about all of the eggheads in her "smart" class. Anyway.
• Can someone refresh my memory on the whole Kate pregnancy thing? I really don't remember much of anything from last season. Did she think she was pregnant? Did Juliet confirm she wasn't? I'm really confused.
• Who is Kate's lawyer? He looked so familiar. I haven't gotten around to IMDB-ing him yet, but LostPedia noted that he was in the movie Frequency, playing a character named "Jack Shepard" who apparently was a serial killer that was prevented from killing Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet)'s character. Funny stuff. I should watch that movie again. I remember loving it.
• I saw Beth Broderick's name in the opening credits and thought that she was Marcia Brady. Apparently I'm thinking of Maureen McCormick. But Beth Broderick was one of the aunts in Sabrina the Teenage Witch. God they made her look awful in this episode. And how have I watched this show from the pilot and seen Kate's mom several times and never realized it was her?
• Claire seems to have gotten over Charlie's death very quickly. I'm not just saying that because I'm bitter that Charlie's dead - seriously, it's been a couple of days. Already she's all giggly and "I'll go make some more coffee!" when Sawyer comes over to talk to Kate? I've gone through much less traumatic losses and not gotten over them NEARLY as quickly. I guess that the island's healing abilities extend to broken hearts.
  
• Hurley: "You totally Scooby-Doo'd me, didn't you." Good line.
• When Kate takes the tray of food from Hurley and goes to see Miles, what does she do with his food? I get she wants information from him, but jeez, at least let the guy eat.
• I definitely gave the expected reaction when Kate mentioned her "son".
• It's about time that someone (thank you Juliet) suggested calling a number like 911 that's NOT on the freighter - I mean jeez. They've been on the island 95 days, you'd think they'd all be fighting over the phone to call anyone.
• When Jack gets called as a witness, he looks totally hot. I don't know what it is about future Jack pre-beard, but he looks damn good.
  
• "Only 8 of us survived the crash" - so that's the story they're going with, huh? And two of those people died. And the rest are the Oceanic Six. I can't wait to see how they get to that point.
• "Do you love her?" "No, not anymore." I don't believe him.
• I don't really get why Hurley and Sawyer have to be "roommates" - aren't there enough houses for them each to have their own? I mean, there were a lot of Others. Either way, I love that the two of them were paired together watching Xanadu. Sometimes this show really manages to make me laugh.
• Boxed wine always makes me think of Becky. I felt a need to make that a bullet point because she got so excited when she saw her name in my haiku.
• I don't know about Sawyer, but when Locke gives "his word", I don't really trust it.
• I had the EXACT same reaction that Ben did when Miles asked for $3.2 million! 3.2? Why not 3.3 or 3.4?
• I still love Miles. It's not blackmail, it's extortion. Apparently I like assholes.
• I know we established early on in this episode that it's a dictatorship, not a democracy with Locke, but it would have at least been nice if he'd knocked before barging into Claire's house.
• What's the story with Daniel's memory? He still looks like Charlie to me.
  
• Why did Charlotte even bother to admit that there was a second phone line on the boat? If she didn't really want to call it, she wouldn't have said anything about it.
• I feel like it wasn't very smart of Locke to put Miles back in the exact same boat house where Kate had already found him. Of course now he has a grenade in his mouth. Locke sure is one sick son of a bitch.
• The bed scene with Kate and Sawyer where she hits him made me think "Way to go, Kate." But then I thought about it, and Sawyer's absolutely right. I think I instinctively take the girl's side, but Sawyer's right, she'll go running back to him in a couple weeks (real time, not Lost time) when she gets upset with Jack.
  
• Maybe I'm over sensitive today, but I started crying when Jack told Kate that he didn't mean what he'd testified to. I knew it.
  
• And as soon as I saw the kid's blond hair, I knew it was Aaron. So now I suppose the question is: is he one of the Oceanic 6? I mean I guess we're to assume Claire doesn't get off the island. But then considering that Claire supposedly "died" in the crash, then she never would have had her baby to begin with, and then Aaron couldn't really be considered a "survivor." But on the other hand, didn't the previews say that this week we'd learn another one of the Oceanic 6? So then maybe he IS supposed to be one of them? He was in the credits as "two year old boy". I wish we had a timeline of when they actually got off the island. He's calling Kate "Mommy", so Claire must have been out of his life for quite some time. Oh this stupid show.
  

the economist

It’s almost Thursday
which can only mean one thing:
new Lost tomorrow.

But wait a second –
I never “recapped” last week!
I’m such a slacker!

Of course the problem
is now I can’t remember
what even happened.

So I’ll use haikus
and maybe you won’t notice
my lack of substance.

So Sayid gets off
(hooray double entendres!)
So we now know four.

Three of my four friends
watching this last week with me
should get their eyes checked!

Just Becky agrees
that Faraday and Charlie
look SO MUCH alike!

Daniel’s so awkward.
I do not get the two clocks
thirty minutes off.

(But, then again, it’s Lost.
Nothing about this show is
supposed to make sense.)

Thanks so much, Sayid
It’s about time that someone
closed Naomi’s eyes.

What’s with her bracelet?
I guess “RG” is someone
to wonder about.

Hurley’s all tied up!
Gagged and stuck in the closet
Could it be a trick?

That crazy John Locke.
I always forget that he
was on Alias.

Aw, Kate and Sawyer
in their happy little home
haunted by Darma.

Hooray, Desmond’s back
He may be my favorite.
(I do miss Charlie)

I still like Miles.
He gets some pretty good lines
(which I’ve forgotten).

Sayid’s still badass.
And how about that, it’s Ben.
He’s such a bad guy.

(Eli Stone was next,
It’s okay – no DSM
or Pushing Daisies.

It has potential.
After all, Victor Garber rocks
And can do no wrong!)

I suppose this week
I’ll try to write my Lost post
on Friday maybe.

Because this was weak
and took way too much effort.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?

confirmed dead

First, let me start by saying that Lost is a confusing enough show when watched sober; I highly discourage drunk viewing at 2:30am. I woke up this "morning" (is 11 still morning? It's not yet "afternoon") extremely stressed out that I couldn't remember how it ended. And then I realized that I couldn't remember much of anything that had happened period. So I watched it again this afternoon. It didn't make a whole lot more sense, but either way, I'm definitely impressed by this season so far.

Thoughts/observations, based on what I remember:

• Jeremy Davies looks way more like Dominic Monaghan than I ever realized and I think it's kind of a cruel joke because every week, we'll be reminded that Charlie's dead. Um, or at least I will.

• I love that Ben is still on a leash.
• The ghostbuster scene was a little weird. I think it would have been a little funnier if Miles made Mrs. Gardiner pay him $200 just to vacuum her murdered grandson's room. Because truth be told, I thought that's what he was doing for a minute. I don't quite understand how a vacuum cleaner communicates with the dead, nor do I really get why a ghost would be "at peace" after some stranger just stole a huge wad of cash from his room, but whatever.
• When Dan, Jack and Kate find Miles, and he's just lying there, why on earth would Jack be the first one to approach him? They already know that Daniel has a gun. They already know that Naomi died under "suspicious circumstances." Wouldn't it have made more sense to send Dan in first?
• Should I be calling him Dan? He seems like more of a Daniel.
• Miles is such an asshole, I think he's my new favorite character. I like how he felt a need to spell out "the code" Naomi used by holding a gun to Jack's head and saying "see right now, Jack would say 'Tell my sister I love her'". I do feel kind of relieved that Naomi doesn't have a sister who somehow worked into the whole crazy Lost world.
• This scene also illustrates why you should not watch drunk: last night, I remember being extremely distressed that Miles addressed Kate by name and wondering how he knew it. I think Pat was just humoring me when he was like "well there's only a couple of girls on the island" because as I realized today, just minutes earlier, Jack yelled "Kate!" and Miles commented, "You're Kate?"
• I loved the scene where Jack winked at Kate right before Sayid and Juliet came out shooting. I loved it even more he pointed it out to her a few minutes later when she was complaining that he didn't tell her Sayid and Juliet were hiding out in the jungle and he insists "But I gave you a wink!"
  
• Ben did not look amused that Hurley knew about the cabin. Locke on the other hand definitely did seem impressed.
• I'm glad that Locke's not having a kidney provided some sort of explanation for how he survived when Ben shot him last season. Still, the bullet went through his friggin body. Like two days ago. He's doing pretty well, considering. And also, the shots of the bullet holes were nasty.
• I also liked Locke's mention that Walt looked "taller". Maybe because he's a little kid who has aged THREE YEARS while you've been on this island.
  
• Speaking of kids on the island, what the hell happened to all of the other Others? Are they still floating around somewhere?
  
• Charlotte's eyes really creeped me out - obviously blue eyes are awesome, but hers were freakishly pale.
• We learn from Ben at the end that Charlotte was born in 1979 and that she got her PhD from Oxford. Since it's 2004 in Lost land, that would mean that she had her PhD by the time she was 25. Pretty impressive if you ask me.
  
• Charlotte's drop from the tree where she landed when she parachuted from the helicopter did not seem nearly as impressive when drunk last night - I remember having the thought "Why didn't she do that sooner and why is she so proud of herself?" Ha, oops.
• I didn't quite understand why Hurley got all bent out of shape when Charlotte asked how many survivors there were. It seemed like a pretty reasonable question to me.
  
• I don't know why, but both last night and today, I felt like Frank was a John Locke voice double. I swear if I closed my eyes, I could have believed it was Locke talking.
• Agent Sean alert! Lostpedia named this photo "Pilot's Sexy Moustache.jpg"
  

• Both last night and again today when I head the name "Frank Lapidus", I heard it as "Frank Penis."
  
• Abaddon's little discussion with Naomi in the final flashback made me laugh. I always laugh at stupid little ironic scenes like that, that aren't supposed to be funny. Even when the irony is really blatant and Naomi says that "sure" she can get the team in and out without anyone getting killed and then the next scene they cut to is her dead body on a stretcher.
• Couldn't anyone have closed Naomi's eyes after she died? I mean come on. Every shot of her she's just staring blankly into space.
• The scene where Miles calls to George and he can't come to the phone seemed a little unnecessary, but I'm sure they'll be some good reason why he couldn't come to the phone because hey, there always is.
• So somehow Miles has a photo of Ben near some giant computer monitor. Hooray! Another mystery! When was it taken? Where was it taken? Did someone take it on the island? Did Ben leave the island? As Juliet reminded us, Ben's a liar, so who knows! I can't wait to find out why the freighter people have come looking for him.
  
• My favorite part of the episode is when Ben is insisting that they should keep him alive because "I have answers!" and Locke asks him "What's the smoke monster?" I thought that was a clever little way for the writers to mess with us a little, by having him ask the question that's been on everybody's minds since the pilot episode, and then to have Ben reply "I don't know." Well what good are you then, Ben, to Locke or to all of us who've been watching this show for three years?
  
• Pat proposed the theory today (not his own, but a good one nonetheless) that Michael is Ben's "man on their boat". I'm not smart enough to come up with these things on my own, but I'll go on record saying I support it.

Until next week, live together, die alone.

the beginning of the end

After eight months, tonight was finally the premiere of the fourth season of Lost. And what would this blog be if not a place for me to note my entirely random observations.

9:08pm - I'll buy polar bears and smoke monsters and the island's healing abilities and all that good stuff. But Hurley turning down the cop's offer of a donut? Really? Have you seen him?

9:10pm - Jack winks at Ben. I love it.

9:14pm - So much going on in this minute. First, did Hurley get fatter? I swear, every season he gets bigger. You'd think that Jorge Garcia would have lost some weight by now. I'm not looking for miracles, but how could he possibly keep getting bigger? Secondly - a cannonball? Really? Wouldn't the water have been like two feet deep at the point where he jumped in? Not buying it. Although I'm glad he had his little moment because I have a feeling that's the most carefree we'll see Hurley for the next three years. Thanks to the beauty of flash forwards, we know that unlike Libby (remember her? don't feel bad, the Losties don't either), he's not going to be soon to forget Charlie.

9:20pm - I swear, Hurley was totally dry by the next shot of him. I know that he has a lot of surface area for the sun to cover (I swear that's the last weight comment for the night), but that seemed a little unbelievable, even for Lost. He has friggin LONG hair - don't I wish that my hair dried that quickly!

9:22pm - I entirely loved that Rousseau was walking around with Ben on a leash. LOVE it.

9:24pm - The black guy claiming to be the attorney for Oceanic Airlines reminded me of an awesome joke I heard on The OC tonight. What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? . . . a pilot, you friggin racist.

9:25-9:26pm - First off - is who still alive? That guy totally freaked me out. And secondly, Sawyer asking Hurley if he wanted to talk about Charlie might have been the cutest thing ever.

9:31pm - Mary asks me the valid question "how does Ben know everything?" I don't know why I wrote it down.

9:33pm - Naomi had a knife thrown in her back. Yet somehow she managed to create a false trail AND then a real trail AND then climb a tree AND then jump on Kate? Freakishly strong. Especially for somebody who dropped dead within minutes of Kate finding her.

9:35pm - Okay. First - is this the same Jacob that we saw last season? Totally looked like a different guy. Whose eye was that? What exactly was going on in that scene? Was Hurley just that disoriented or was the shack in front of him and then on the other side of him and then gone altogether?

9:36pm - John Locke really scares the crap out of me. Maybe because I have bad memories of studying for my Real Estate final by looking up Lost Philosophy on Lostpedia.

9:42pm - Okay, granted Hurley wasn't with Jack and the group when Locke threw a knife at Naomi and pointed a gun at Jack and then made a getaway. But it's been three friggin seasons. Wouldn't Hurley have been smart enough to know by that point that Jack --and probably most of the other people on the island-- probably were not going to be all that keen on listening to and heeding Charlie's dying message if Locke accompanied Hurley in presenting it?

9:44pm - I love Lost reunion scenes and I appreciated Rose making another "Rambo" reference to Bernard. I got a little teary eyed when Hurley told Claire about Charlie. I swear, that "touching" Lost theme music, that cued up in that same minute, gets me every time.

9:45pm - Holy crap, Dominic Monaghan looks good. I mean really, really good. I would thoroughly support him showing up looking this good in every episode. Of course that would defeat the purpose of Dominic Monaghan's decision to leave the show. But whatever. Best two minutes of the episode.

9:47pm - Charlie's cryptic "they need you" - who does?

9:48pm - I laughed out loud at Jack pulling the trigger on Locke. Slightly disappointed that it wasn't loaded, even though I wouldn't have expected that it would be.

9:53pm - Jack asks Locke "are you insane?" I've been wondering the same thing for three years now.

9:55pm - A very convincing speech by Hurley - I probably would have gone with him. Although Pat did bring up the good point of the people with the boat, even though they weren't who they said they were, still having a boat. And as I've said several times already, Locke scares me.

9:56pm - "Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John." Aww, Ben's so polite!

9:58pm - Am I the only one confused about how downpours of rain wouldn't put out everyone's torches? Am I missing something? Doesn't water put out fire? Or is this just a basic elementary school concept that I've been screwing up all these years?

9:59pm - I kinda liked Jack's hair in this scene. I was so distracted by it that I almost forgot about the fact that he and Hurley (and the rest of the Oceanic Six?) have a secret that Jack doesn't want Hurley to tell.

10:00pm - And there's Jeremy Davies. I don't know why I had it in my head that he was in some obscure Vince Vaughn movie from the late 90s (back from when I used to collect obscure Vince Vaughn movies), because IMDB confirmed that I have never seen him in anything except for Saving Private Ryan. I swear I knew a girl in high school who was obsessed with him. Anyway.

And so ends episode one. 47 to go in the series and lots to think about.

On another note, the baby that played Aaron in tonight's episode was one of the cuter ones they've had yet. Trivia: 57 babies played Aaron in seasons 2 and 3. That number seems exceptionally high, but Lostpedia does not lie. Also, I observed that there was only one commercial for Cloverfield during the entire episode - I would have expected more.

And finally, a little Charlie tribute, courtesy of the Late Greats - an mp3 of DriveShaft's hit You All Everybody. Here's hoping Charlie doesn't become another random dead castaway that nobody even remembers existed two years later. (I read the name 'Shannon' earlier and for a brief moment had to ask myself 'who?')